You are far more likely to have success in meeting the type of people you are looking for if you focus your attention on the aspects of your life that you enjoy.If you’re a reader, you’re more likely to find people you click with not just at bookstores but at author readings, book-release parties and lecture series.The first is a case of fundamental lifestyle incompatibility, which happens when what you If you’re hoping for a bikini model who works out every day to keep herself in top shape and your only exercise comes from jumping to conclusions, you are going to have a very hard time finding someone willing to date you.Similarly, someone who is ambitious and motivated isn’t going to be interested in a slacker whose days are spent at a minimum-wage, minimum-responsibility job and whose nights consist of marathoning Supernatural reruns.Having a list of qualities that you’re looking for in a potential partner makes it easier to find one.In many ways, it’s like thinking like a hunter: you can either blunder about the woods and hope to stumble upon a deer at random, or you can try to maximize your chances by finding their watering holes and food sources.
The problem with this outlook is that women If you’re going into a relationship looking for someone to fix a problem in your life – whether it’s that you’re shy, you’re repressed and need to be loosened up, you want someone to help you make up for lost time or otherwise validate your existence – you’re not looking for a relationship, you’re looking for a caretaker. After all, when you’ve put in all of that work learning how to be more attractive, how to dress better, building your confidence and working on your banter, you don’t want to date just This is a theme I come back to over and over again because, frankly, most guys don’t really think much about exactly what it is they want from a woman. but that’s actually not helpful, nor is it always true.Some people want to be Hank Moody, getting laid at the drop of a hat, barely able to walk down the street without pussy falling from the skies and onto his crotch. Some people aim for the stars and insist they’ll only date someone who’s practically a supermodel, while others throw their hands up and say “I just want someone who looks halfway decent and gives me the time of day.” All of these people are making dating harder on themselves and guaranteeing a life of dissatisfaction.One of the reasons why I advocate writing everything down is because sometimes it’s a way of spotting issues that you wouldn’t notice otherwise.
There are two common problems that are often revealed when you write down a list of what you’re looking for in a woman.
At the same time, however, you want to make sure that you’re with someone who matches up with what you’re looking for – after all, if you’re looking for someone who’s intellectually curious, you don’t want to find out that your date hasn’t read a book that wasn’t required for class.